My Art Blog

A Tribute to My Mother - A Fellow Artist by Joan Stillar Hamilton

There are many words I could use to describe my mother

 

As Mother's Day approaches my grief over my mother's death on February 28, 2011 takes on a new face. One I hope she would consider appropriate. My mother was an artist in so many ways and although her life was filled with long hours of often tedious work (the ringer washer never stopped all day long it seemed when I was a child) she somehow taught her fourteen children to love literature, art, music, and history. These were always my best subjects in school, and many of my siblings are the same.

 She painted a little bit as a young woman

 
The Kingfisher painting of hers below hung in our home all my childhood.
 
 
 Kingfisher by Rita Antonette Stillar  Copyright Rita Stillar
 
My brother who has the original painting in it's frame told me he found this one of the bird on the back of the Kingfisher one. They were both attached to the same board. I have a feeling I may have seen the bird one before, it looks familar somehow, but I can't remember if I knew it was there, or saw it as a child.
 
 
 
 Bird on the Pussypillows by Rita Antonette Stillar Copyright Rita Stillar 
 
 
These are obviously pretty old and were not adequately protected in their frame, but I kind of like the sepia tones.  Her style is similar to mine as well. Who knows how far she could have gone with her painting, if life hadn't intervened. 
 
The following is an excerpt from her Eulogy which was written collaboratively by family members. I was very honoured to read this section at the ceremony.

"With more leisure time mom found whole new ways to be creative. At first she turned to rug hooking, joined the Hooker’s Guild, and even had an illustrated article published on the technique. Then at sixty she went back to school, taking English courses at the University, free for seniors. It was a brave move, catching a bus up Thiboult Hill, rubbing shoulders with young students in the busy hallways, daring to believe that she had something unique to say. Summer Artsperience courses had whetted her appetite for writing and motivated her to become serious about her work. In her own humble way she wished to contribute, as she put it, “her drops of water to the lake of literature”.

 A new world opened with her membership in The North Bay Writer’s Group. She enjoyed engaging with other writers and thinking critically about her own ideas.

Mom got enormous satisfaction from crafting stories of her childhood, and recording the histories of our ancestors. She also wrote deeply personal poetry describing her thoughts and feelings on growing old, on relationships, and life’s purpose. She struggled to express the depths of her experiences. We all encouraged her and value the written treasure she has left us. Some of us have even been inspired to carry on where she left off.

 Life did not always flow easily for her, yet somehow she manoeuvred the rapids for almost a century. She had her joy and pride in all of us to temper the hard work and inevitable heartaches through all those years. We have the example of her strength to carry us along in our own “life’s flow”. She knew she was loved, that she had done the best she could. In her last days, comforted by family, she was ready for the end of her story, and a final, well deserved rest."

 

In the past six years that I have been painting and blogging I often spoke with my mother about it 

 
We talked about how having a creative outlet seemed necessary to our personal sense of fulfillment, because there are strong feelings that need some kind of creative expression. My mother's poetry was published in literary magazines and highly valued by her fellow writers group and teachers. We enjoyed talking about writing and she was proud of my blogging and my art. Even though she had little understanding of how I could paint with a computer, she believed me when I said I could and that I was the one making the mark on the paper, not the computer.
 
Several of her poems were in the Program my sister Emily and I designed (my artwork and her designer eye!) for the Mass of Remembrance and Ceremonies at the Cemetary.
 
I am taking the liberty of publishing some of them here because I believe my mother would not object. She understood the thrill of having your work read by other people, and knew what it takes to have the nerve to put your art and writing out there in front of people and deal with people's reactions to it.
 
I am also incredibly proud of the poet/writer she was and want to tell the world about her.
 

Bliss

 

I want to fly

unburdened

soaring in free space

 

I like to dream

unrestrained

striving for that painless place

suspended

within a gold rimmed card

where only angels dwell

 Rita Stillar ~ 1987 All rights reserved

 
A Still Morning
 
bright sun lift
early morning mists
sky and lake unite
 
mirrored in the water 
stark firs and leafy maples
vainly vie with sentinel white birch
 
watersprites skim
the surface of the lake 
creating jeweled bubbles
as they skate 
 
Rita Stillar ~ 1990  All rights reserved

I haven't read these poems for many years,

 and when I painted the paintings below last summer I had no remembrance of the title of the poem, or the images her exacting words evoked. Shivers ran up and down my spine as I read it today and I realized I had painted it, unknowing how close it came to the vision of her poem. I recall thinking of such mornings and concentrating on the imagery and the feeling such a scene gave me as I painted it. I called it "Early Morning On the Rocks"
 
 
 
I often thought of my mother as I painted. Sometimes just on the level of a child feeling proud to show off work to mother. Other times of what other memories and feelings the images evoked in me and whether I could successfully capture those feelings. It struck me that I have my mother's 'literalness.' (Is that even a word?) Her poem gives us a very precise picture and doesn't leave much room for how she felt about it, except for the reverence for the beauty of nature I hear in her poets voice. I sometimes feel that my paintings are too literal in my interpretation of what the scene is. I feel it's not up to me to mess with nature (too much :) and I see that sense of describing something exactly how it is (to us) in my Mother's poetry. For that reason I did not post any of her poetry that was deeply personal.
 
Here's another painting of mine eerily like the poem I don't remember connecting to...in fact I know I specifically painted it for a friend as comfort for his grief of his mother's passing.
I even entitled the painting with the name of a bay in the lake my mother wrote the poem about. She wrote about Ruth Lake often, it was obviously a place that meant much to her as well as to me. I called this one Approaching Storm on Bester's Bay  
 
 
Approaching Storm on Bester's Bay  ~ Joan A Hamilton Aug. 2010
 
 
 Storm on the Lake
 
the gunmetal sky
unstaples
a shower of sudden nails
 
the white-capped water
pockmarked
pierced by pelting rain
 
wind-whipped waves
foam crested
flail the frothy shore
 
Rita Stillar  ~ Fall 1990
All rights reserved
 
As I read through the book of poems she bravely gave us all for Christmas one year so long ago, I am not really suprised to see the same themes and similarity of subject matter that I see in my own work. I just wasn't really conscious of what an impact my upbringing by this amazing woman has had on my own art and writing. So there you have it folks...someday when someone writes about me and my art they will be able to quote me as saying,  "My mother influenced my art a great deal." Her ability to keenly observe the world around her, and see the essential essence and elements of something was a talent she had honed to perfection from necessity. She needed the ability to multitask like nobody could dream of multitasking today to survive life as a mother of fourteen. She more than survived in this role, she excelled at it.
 
It was reaffirming and  comforting for me to hear from so many people how much they respected and admired my mothers' intelligence and creativity. Their comments revealed that they appreciated her strength and personal spirit.
 
My niece Alana has written a poem that she also read at the ceremony that captures some of my mother's essence in a way that my words cannot seem to. She has given me permission to reprint it here. I think it is a fantastic poem (and so did everyone else who heard it! I'm really proud of her!)
 
 " Dear One

In frozen charcoal darkness

I write your name

with footprints on the snow of Lake Nipissing.

 

Giant letters announce your existence to icy stars, as reading from your spring of words proclaims your writer's voice to reverent northern wind.

 

Hold pages in a firm hand

while night holds the room's glow.

Take a sip of water, clear your throat.

 

With a confident sparkle,

In a serious tone declare,

My last lines are brilliant.

 

Carefully harvested words,

pearly drops collected

from the sweat of love and fear,

 

beginning, parting, enduring

tears and touches of holy water,

wild, stormy Ruth;

 

melted snow,

spring rain,

silvery meadow dew;

 

strong tea on the table,

in the good china pot,

poured gently

 

a lifetime of words

into the lake of literature,

you called it

 

free, weightless

from a womb

of great green depths and golden threads of light.

 

Join me,

says the lake to Rita,

there is a place for you here.

Your words are in the waves,

 

dear daughter

float serenely,

they will carry you

forever flowing on."

By Alana Marie Didur  ~ March 4, 2011 All rights reserved
 
 The last verse is my wish and special message to my Mother this Mother's Day. "Thank you for being the woman you were. 'Float serenely' on now Mom, your words and your passion will forever flow on because of your legacy to us... through us!
 
I told her so, the day before she died. I am so glad I did.
 

Link to video on You Tube - Digital Watercolours by Joan A Hamilton  2007 ~ 2011 Painted with Corel Painter.

 
I made this video a short time ago of many of my paintings and wish I could show it to my Mom. It 4.54 long and features one of my favourite songs, "True Colours" by Eva Cassidy. The lyrics really express my feelings about how my mother has encouraged and helped me.
Thank you Momma for making me unafraid to show my true colours and for teaching me how important creating beauty and harmony in our lives, whatever way we can, is so necessary for the good of our souls and general well being.
 
All my love forever,
your daughter Joan
(I had to put that because I have 6 sisters and I wouldn't want her to get mixed up about who made this for her! lol!)
 

Wishing You All a Happy Mother's Day and don't forget to honour your Mother! 

  
 
 

Comments

Jane said:

What a lovely tribute to your mother. I envy those who had such a relationship with their mom, not so with me. That is why my relationship with my son was so special...

Saturday, May 7th

Joan said:

Jane thank you for your comments! Yes I was fortunate in having such a great Mother. I realize not all mother/child relationships are so good, and am happy to hear you have a special one with your son. Happy Mother's Day to you!
Cheers,
Joan

Saturday, May 7th

Brandy Kinnear said:

Lovely Joan, Happy Mother's day!

Saturday, May 7th

Kathy said:

Joanie, this is beautiful, your Mom (and often mine) would be so proud. I'm sorry I couldn't be there and I've had quite a time keeping up with things I want to do or say. Stacia and Jeff and I were looking at pictures the other day of Ruth Lake. It brought back so many memories for them. There are so many more children now, I can't even imagine. Happy Mother's Day Joanie.

Saturday, May 7th

Em said:

I'm happy to see this very healing tribute to Mom. I'm still living in her recent past and not so much our childhood.
Alana's poem, once again is very powerful even without her amazing reading of it at Mom's funeral. It shows Mom's influence in Monica and then Alana.
I forgot it was Mother's Day tomorrow because everyday has been Mom's day for me. I will make an effort to remember the past more now.

Happy Mother's Day to my sisters Bunny, Carol,Rita, Marie, Monica and you Joanie, to sister-in-laws Sue, Joy and Lesley, nieces Melissa, Alison,Stacia, and soon to be mother Brandy.

Mom taught us all to be confident mothers and that is a legacy in her progeny.

xEm

It was great to see your art again in slide format. I see where the inspiration comes from in each of them.

Saturday, May 7th

Monia Didur said:

Dear Joanie,

Thank you for the wonderful tribute to mom. She was too humble to take credit for the influence she has had on our creative lives. I know my children were deeply touched by her poems relating to the struggle to find creative expression and all the doubts that assail those who dare. She valued our efforts, despite her practical nature. She knew there was more to life than endless, mundane struggles.

Seeing all your work in the slide show was amazing. You have accomplished so much.

Saturday, May 7th

Alana Didur said:

Hi Joanie,

Elbert Hubbard once said, "Art is not a thing; it is a way."
I believe Rita Stillar understood this and endeavoured to make her own artistic way, while quietly inspiring the same in her family. Art offers us a means to process, honour, remember and connect. It gives so much and always will.

Thank you for sharing some of artistic ways of our family and for showcasing the special artwork that will forever pay tribute to your mother, my grandmother and true W-O-M-A-N, Rita Stillar. I know it would have made her smile with pride. It certainly put a smile on these lips!

xo
Warm greetings to everyone & I hope all the mothers out there enjoyed a lovely Sunday.

Monday, May 9th

Glenn said:

A wonderful tribute and reflection, Joanie. Thank you sooo much for this piece.

Tuesday, May 10th

Angela Baxter said:

This is wonderful Joan. To think of all the time and thought it has taken for your to get to this point in your progress. I was going to say career. Now I must forward this great Tribute to Mom to my family.

This is truly great, Bunny

Wednesday, July 27th

Eli Mina said:

Nicely done, Joan. I stumbled on this by accident and was blown away by the fine tribute to an amazing mother.
I consider myself very lucky to have come across your class at DAA. Even though learning water colouring was not on my list of priorities, I am happy to have signed on for your class. I learned so much from you and from the students that that were inspired by you. I hope I to continue learning from you because I am inspired to learn more about the medium.

Best,

Eli

Sunday, February 19th

Joan said:

Hi Eli
Thank you for your kind words. It's funny that you found this today because I was thinking of her a lot today and reading some of her poetry again. She has been gone almost a year now and I still think of her and miss her every day. She was an amazing woman. I promised her last January that I would 'do' my course and although it was hard work, I like to think she's up there smiling and feeling proud of me for really doing it and being able to share what I have learned. I thank her for my love of art and for teaching me the importance of creativity and beauty in our lives. Her influence is a big part of the reason why I want to teach others to express themselves as only 'they' can. Thank you saying you are inspired and thankful to have taken my class. Hey did you hear that Mom! :)

All the best,
Joan

Sunday, February 19th

Add a comment

Please type the number exactly as it appears